This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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