i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
