If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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