dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
stop calling my apartment porn island.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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