ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
