How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
