Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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