Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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