Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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