We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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