I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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