Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
