new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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