She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
