U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
