Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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