peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
