I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
