Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You need a sexual gate keeper
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
