"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
