your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
