I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
