i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
