Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She's the barista slut.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sorry my hands just texted you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
