I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
