i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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