small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
