do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
