lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
