So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
