the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
