i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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