So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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