she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
