I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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