i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
