he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
