Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
