she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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