Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
