She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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