I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
