come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
