i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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