The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
