Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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