The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
