So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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