Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
