butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
we should paint friendship bongs
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
