And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she looked like the before picture.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
