am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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